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Friday, March 16, 2012

Accquainted with the Night*

I was so happy to receive such kind and wonderful advice after announcing my pregnancy. I waited a long time to tell my parents, family, friends, internet world, etc. but once I did the excitement poured over me like nothing I had ever experienced.

We went to find out the gender of the baby this week where we learned that our little baby's heart had stopped beating.

I tell you dear roommates, and internet world, this personal note as I try to relieve some of the sadness that has filled my body. I am fortunate to have a support network of people that have showed me such tender kindness and I feel forever grateful.

I will be taking a few weeks off the internet, and the duplex, to spend time trying to move forward and most likely doing many odd tasks, as I have found myself in complete task-mode trying to occupy my mind. I feel confident that sometime in the future I will return to feeling like myself, and that one day my home will be filled with baking bread and baby bums, but for now that will wait.

* the title is from a poem by Robert Frost

70 comments:

stella and olivias mommy said...

whit, i'm so sorry for your terrible loss. you will surely be in my prayers.

Chelsea said...

My heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry that you don't get to hold your angel baby. I'm sure its hard to share something so personal, but thanks for doing it. God bless you and your husband during this difficult time.

Brittany said...

i will be praying for you and your family as you deal with this loss. we will miss you!

dani said...

I am so sorry to hear this. You are absolutely in my thoughts and prayers. <3

Sunkissed said...

I'm so sorry Whitney - You're in my prayers.

Erin said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss and for your pain. I am glad that you have such wonderful family and friends that will carry you through with love and hugs and hot tamales. <3

Erica said...

I just wanted to leave you a little message to let you know that you will be in my thoughts. It is so hard to deal with loss of that caliber and it is great that you have such a wonderful support group!

debbiecutieface.com said...

I'm so so so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through.

Emily said...

i'm so sorry. you will be in my thoughts.

Erin said...

I am so sorry, my family and I will be praying for you.

Lindsey Palmer said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a pregnancy last month, and I can tell you that the only thing that heals is time. It seems so hard now, but you will get there. All the best.

Samantha {Moody Mama} said...

I am so sorry. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

kaity said...

praying for you! my mom lost a pregnancy before she had me. we still talk about how we'll see him in heaven one day and all get to meet him.

sending love your way!

kLr said...

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your baby!
Praying for comfort for you and your husband as you grieve.

Sincerely,
Kirsten

Emily said...

I am so, so sorry. Praying for you and your husband.

amy said...

:( so sorry...hang tough. your time will come.

Brittany said...

I am so sorry! :( That is not news anyone wants to hear. I hope you guys are doing alright-so grateful to know that God has a plan for us and our children. You will definetely be in our prayers. We love you guys!

J Young said...

I know that that is the worst feeling in the world, sending virtual hugs your way.

JMc said...

I am so sorry for your loss and will be sending prayers your way.

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness. If I could just hug you I would. I'm praying for you! I am SO sorry!

Kayla said...

Oh love I'm so sorry. That is so hard. I know nothing can be said to lessen the pain, but just know there are so many people thinking about you and sending you virtual hugs!
Kayla @ seekaylago.blogspot.com

Katie said...

i can't even imagine your sadness. many prayers are sent your way.

@lliE said...

I'm so sorry, Whitney. Wishing you the best.

Mel said...

I am so sorry! Sending prayers your way for strength and healing.

Kimber said...

Whitney, may heart aches for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mrs. Dice said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Elisabeth Gee said...

I'm so sorry, Whitney!! Prayers are being sent your way.

Jen said...

I am so sorry Whitney. I miscarried my first baby too. It was really, really rough. But, I had two healthy pregnancies after that and now I have two amazing children. With time your heart will heal.

Scott, Annie, and Nathaniel Green said...

So sorry you're going through this. This is something that has helped me through a couple of very painful years. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMwKxmTLaCs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

L said...

we love you whit!

Nate and Julie said...

Love you! I'm sorry you have to go through this. Praying for you!

Audrey @ Putting Me Together said...

Oh no! Whitney, I'm so sorry to hear this. Praying for you.

What The Schmidt said...

I'm so sorry, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Libby said...

sorry to hear about that :(

Ashley said...

Whitney, I'm so, so sorry! Tears and prayers for you today.

Laci said...

Oh Whitney, I am without words. I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Please PLEASE let me know if there is anything I can do for you!

Ro said...

i can't even imagine how heartbreaking that is whit!!! our prayers are with you and your family!

Katie said...

Oh, my heart is breaking for you. During dark times in my life I find myself in task mode as well. Stay busy, keep praying... sometimes it's all you can do. Sending lots of love.

Merrick said...

Oh, Whitney, I am so sorry. This is probably the hardest thing a woman will ever have to go through. And I know, because I've been there. We are all thinking of you and praying for you. Bless you in these tough weeks and months ahead. Xoxo

eighteenthofmay said...

I will keep you in my prayers, keep strong xx

Jess said...

Wow, Whitney. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, and I know I'm just some chick on the internet, but if you need anything--a really terrible picture of me with my hair teased out or a GIF of a bunny hopping--let me know. Your roommates will welcome you back with open arms whenever you're ready to return.

Chapstick Fanatic said...

whitney i am so sorry for your loss. i will keep you in my thoughts.

http://lachapstickfanatique.blogspot.com

Rachel said...

oh whitney, baby...I am so so sorry. I want to add baby to your name because I'm talking to you as if I'm hugging you and patting you...I am so sorry for all the sadness that you are feeling and I hope everything will feel better soon. xoxo and lots of love. I hope Brett plays something to make you laugh on the banjo.

loonysuse said...

So sorry.....

lori said...

oh, whitney... my heart hurts for you right now. i cannot imagine. i will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

Monica said...

This post was achingly beautiful. You are a wise lady and are clearly well loved.

Landon said...

Whitney, you're in my thoughts.

FashionableLena said...

Take as much time as you need.
I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that you will find comfort and strength in the days ahead. Lean and depend on others in your time of grief. That's what they are there for. May God bless you and your family.

Ashley said...

Whitney... my heart breaks for you. Praying that the Lord would comfort you during this time. Praying for you continually.

Olivia.Dee said...

Praying for you during this time.

Raven said...

Love you, sweetie.

Amy @ TheMombot.com said...

Oh Whitney, my heart pains for you. There are truly no words that can heal your pain, but I'll be praying for comfort and peace for you and your husband.

The Brown Family said...

I am so sorry!! This hits very close to home! Someone once told me at such a difficult time, to serve, it helped me keep my mind off...everything and I grew closer to my husband, my faith and so many others I reached out too! It honestly lifted my spirits in a way I needed it! Also, fill your house with flowers on a weekly bases! Sending our prayers your way!

Wallie said...

I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. I have been in the same place as you. It will take time, but you will be ready to move on when you allow yourself to. All happens for a reason and it just isn't the right time right now. Sending feel good vibes and hugs!

Domestic Diva said...

Oh my heart absolutely breaks for you right now. I know there are no words that can help but I pray for the peace that the atonement brings to wrap you in comfort.

Mackenzie Turrill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

I lost my first baby, I'm SO sorry you're going through this, its so heartbreaking and feels so devastating. You will be in my prayers.

heidikins said...

Oh honey, hugs and prayers to you.

xox

Shea McGee said...

Oh Whit, this just breaks my heart. Love you and praying for your sweet family.

Katie said...

Oh, so sorry. I have been a lurker on here for a while, and though I can't relate to exactly what you're going through, I can at least understand what it's like to want a child, a pregnancy, and have it not working out like you'd plan. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Elizabeth said...

Whitney, I am so sorry to hear this news. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know there is nothing that I can say that will make this situation any better, but I hope that you can find comfort in knowing that so many people love you and are here for you! XOXO

Mandy @ This Girl's Life said...

Goodness I am so sorry to hear this news. It is so hard to understand why these things happen. You are certainly in my thoughts and I hope that as each day passes you are able to find more glimmers of light in this dark time.

Linda Z said...

Oh, I am just heartbroken for you. I am so sorry and I pray God and your friend and family will comfort your sweet heart.

RubysNPurls said...

I am so sorry to hear this, you are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am so so sorry to hear about your news and I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost a baby 2/29/12 (my 2nd miscarriage. After 10 years of trying and giving up hope we found out at Christmas. I felt such a peace with this event in my life and then it was taken from us. I was 15 weeks and it IS devastating, so unfair and all around a shitty time! I will not tell you the usual cliches people say during this sad time b/c it's not what you need to hear or want to hear. At least I didn't. I understand that it's difficult to know the proper thing for people to say with a sad event like this. But to let you know from this woman to you...you will have moments to cry, get angry, and look at others through slit eyes and it's OK! I do hope you will find comfort and peace in time. I am still on that path and truly each day a tiny bit gets better. May each day bring a ray of sunshine to your life no matter what it is.

Liz McNeil

Cason and Marie said...

So sorry to hear Whitney. I have been thinking about you lately and praying for you to have help during this difficult time. xoxo. Marie

So Yeah So said...

I'm so sorry.

jessi said...

oh my goodness, i'm so sorry. you and your husband are in my prayers.

Elizabeth Benfield said...

my heart hurts for you so badly! husband and i went thru this on december 22nd. it made for a really quiet and sad holiday. you are in my prayers!

Tedi Palmer said...

I am so so so so so so so so sorry. I have personally never experienced a loss such as this, and I can't imagine how much it must hurt. We love you Whitney! My prayers are with you.

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